• me (dating a girl named liz and also taking a delicious lasagna out of the oven): hey anyone want some liz on ya? well you can't, she's mine. hahahaha. okay liz you can go home now I only dated you to make that joke

So what you want, baby?
breakinq:

following back tons

hippopotamus-hi-tops:

things your friends will say if you’ve made a good pun:

  • get out
  • fuck you
  • shut the fuck up
  • oh my god why
  • you need to stop
  • you’re not funny
  • that was terrible

(via genericdick)

hotsenator:

I am sick as hell but that isn’t gonna stop me from being cute

x

@niazkilam: New ink

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